I thought everything was over, but no, it was only the beginning. Tears started falling in my eyes, I tried to look up, so it wouldn’t fall down easily. I tried not to have eye contact with people, because I didn’t want others think of something strange as I walked and cried. But as soon as I headed to my bed, I failed to control my tears. It all overflowed. I cried out loud.
I didn’t know why I cried. Maybe it was because after I gave all my efforts, and when I thought I almost reached the final, but suddenly the final sign became far away and told me that I still had to run. It was not over, yet. Or maybe, the fact that I still needed to fight harder made me cry. I felt like I already did all my best, but then why was it still not over? I felt like giving up.
I thought I had been patient, but in fact I failed. Patient is immeasurable. Patient is lifetime. You couldn’t ask how long you should be patient. It’s hard doing the same things over and over again. It’s hard struggling to get what you want. But if you have patience, you will finally get what you’re supposed to get.
And after some moment, I stopped crying. My eyes got swollen, my face looked bad and I thought most people could easily tell that I just cried. But, it was okay. Because this cry made me realize that I could start over again. I couldn’t just give up when I knew that there would be an end over there, right?
So, one day when the tears come, don’t control it. You can cry. You should cry. Crying makes you realize that you need others’ help. Asking for help and giving help, that’s how humans live, anyway. Crying also makes you realize that you’re only such a weak creation. Maybe that’s how God asks you to make dua (pray) for Him, asks from Him, and makes you near with Him.
So, one day when the tears come, accept it, only to realize that you (actually) still have your fight left within you.
“You can’t control your tears, but you should know when to stop”